Articles of Interest

The Legacy Foundation at Shell Point
Academy Seminar
Creating a Lasting Legacy
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Timothy A. Stephenson

Thank you for your response to the January Gala and to the message we sought to bring that evening.  Today I would like to take the thought process a little bit farther.  If it is helpful for you to review the message from the Gala, it is also posted on the Legacy Foundation website.

I believe there is within most all of us the desire to be remembered.  We express it in different ways:

• I want to leave my mark.
• I want to establish a legacy.
• I want to establish the legacy of someone I love.

That’s why we:

• Name children after family members.
• Engage in genealogical studies.
• Write autobiographical papers, books and memoirs.
• Name buildings, pews, stained glass windows and other popular methods of creating memorials.
• It is why we choose careers that are motivated by the good we can do rather than for the money we can make.

What seems to be the root?

• It is so common that I think it is born within us.
• I believe it goes back to a longing for eternity.  We weren’t born just for this life.  There is something more.

Let me talk with you a little bit about Legacy Coaching.

• In 2004 I engaged in a year long training process to become a Legacy Wealth Coach.  It was a fascinating study that continues to motivate me to this day.  It is a great privilege to engage with individuals and families as they seek to accomplish what is closest to their hearts.
• Legacy coaches will tend to be financial advisors who desire to be more than product salesmen, but people who slow down and seek to understand their clients’ needs.
• There is a cost.  Sometimes the cost is significant, depending on the size of one’s assets and complexity of one’s vision.

The Process of Legacy Thinking

• Assess the journey of your life (or of your lives together).
• It is not just what has happened in the past..
• Seek to draw meaning out of your journey and
• wisdom from its twists and turns
• Determine what kind of impact you want to have looking forward.
• This isn’t just planning for death.  This is planning for life! 
• How might someone want to be remembered? 
• What are the three biggest roadblocks to accomplishing our desired impact?
• What are the three biggest opportunities if we plan and execute thoughtfully?
• What are the three biggest strengths of our story and experience to be reinforced and maximized?

How can Legacy Foundation help?

• Clarity – We can help you think it through and identify what you want to accomplish.
• Opportunity – We can provide opportunity for financial legacy and help you come to decisions regarding your legacy.
• Implementation – You want results.  We can help you achieve that.
• Confidence – We can help you gain confidence that your plan can work.

What are the action steps you need to take in order to bring the results you dream of?

Bibliography:  I have read too many books on this subject to mention them all.  Here are a handful of the best:

E.G. “Jay” Link, Family Wealth Counseling, Getting to the Heart of the Matter, 1999, Professional Mentoring Program, Franklin, Indiana, ISBN 0-9674023-0-1.

Scott C. Fithian, Values-Based Estate Planning, 2000, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., New York, ISBN 0-471-38040-7.

Maister, Green and Galford, The Trusted Advisor, 2000, A Touchstone Book, Simon & Shuster, New York, ISBN 0-7432-1234-7

Ron Blue, Splitting Heirs: Giving Your Money and Things to Your Children Without Ruining Their Lives, 2004, Northfield Publishing, Chicago, ISBN 1-881273-05-9

Timothy A. Stephenson
The Legacy Foundation at Shell Point
Creating an Unforgettable Legacy
Gala 2009

And we are following in their footsteps.  Everyone in this room is following in the footsteps of those who have come before -- and we are also leaving our own sets of footprints for the people that will come after.  Each one of us will have a unique impact on this community, just as we have already had with our families, friends, co-workers, and neighbors.

Unforgettable!  Our journey this evening has included people and places, events, music and theater that have impacted us and, in some cases, characterized friendships, meaningful experiences and even formed a bit of our culture.

W.H. Auden, in his famous poem Night Mail, wrote, “None will hear the postman’s knock without a quickening of the heart.  For who can bear to feel himself forgotten.”   There is within all of us the desire, the need, to be remembered…to be thought of as unforgettable. 

There is a new career path some are exploring, referred to as “Legacy Coaching.”  There is also a popular “Leave a Legacy Foundation” that has drawn a great deal of attention in recent years.  There seems to be an acknowledgement in our society today that it is important to leave our mark.  Legacy is the unique footprint we want to leave for our time on earth.  How we choose to impact the lives of others can have a lasting influence and can provide an enduring heritage. 

The feature articles in this past year’s Shell Point Life have recorded a portion of the legacy of many of our friends and neighbors who are unforgettable.  We have read about musicians, fishermen, photographers and the Corvette guy.  We know the stories of our neighbors - travelers and sailors, and the King of the Songo River Queen.  We honored America’s veterans and also those who have given greatly to create what we now know as Shell Point.

Each of us has been touched by these people and others who are truly unforgettable!

In life’s journey, each of us has experienced twists and turns, people and events, opportunities and interruptions that we certainly never expected.  We have made choices – sometimes good choices, and sometimes decisions that came with great cost.  But all of these experiences have shaped who we have become. 

The art, the task, the challenge of shaping our Legacy is to take a purposeful look at the course of our lives and the find what it means for us to have lived.  And then the goal – is to offer the story of that journey to others as a gift.

What has my life meant to me?  What has my life meant to those whom I have touched?

Legacy is not optional.  We all leave a legacy.  However, it is possible, with some effort, to craft and shape the legacy we leave.

Legacy begins to take shape when we reflect back on life’s journey with an eye to understanding.  Who were the people?  What made them special?  How did they influence who I became?  Who gave me a leg up?  Through whose generosity did I learn to give?  What are the themes of my life?  Did I always seem to find myself teaching?  Did others appoint me the leader?  Was I a giver…or a taker?

I can let others write my legacy based on the letters, photographs, diaries and mementos they find when I’m gone.  Or I can purposefully assess the journey of life and take action to pass along the lessons of life to those who will follow.

My wife, Glenda, is a collector of quilts.  She has a number of quilts and afghans, but none compare with this quilt – made by her great grandmother at the turn of the century and carefully passed down to her.  It has been displayed in our home for many years. 

Think of our legacy as an heirloom quilt created not from scraps of cloth, but from the moments of life – the experiences, relationships, choices, beliefs, and values – sewn together through the wisdom of time into memories, insights and truths that can be passed along to future generations.

David Solie writes, “Legacy is the unique footprint we want to leave for our time on earth.  We all live unique lives.  Some are more colorful and complex than others, but they are all interesting and worthy of our utmost consideration.”  (How to Say it to Seniors, page 158)

The writer of Ecclesiastes, the wise man, Solomon, wrestled with what would be his Legacy.  Was it his wisdom?  Was it his money?  Was it his countless building projects?  Was it his faith in God?  The ruminations of an elderly man who had the world at his feet can be found in the book of Ecclesiastes.  He wrote:

There is a time for everything; and a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,

He also wrote these words for us:

The words of the wise prod us to live well.
They’re like nails hammered home, holding life together.                
(Eccl. 12:10)
---------------   

Be generous: Invest in acts of charity.
Charity yields high returns.
Don’t hoard your goods; spread them around.
Be a blessing to others.                                                           
(Eccl. 11:1,2)
---------------
The last and final word is this:
Fear God.  Do what he tells you.  And that’s it            
(Eccl. 12:13)

Our story, your story deserves to be told.  The words of the wise prod us to live well.  They’re like nails hammered home, holding life together.

Legacy is not just a summary of our life’s experiences.  It is putting the journey of life into perspective – it is drawing wisdom out of experience.  And then it may be followed by some kind of action.

Legacy gives us a chance to play an active role in the future.  We may be able to create something that has the potential to influence people well into the future.  The goal here is to be a part of a conversation one hundred years from now, even though we are not physically present, because we set in motion a series of events, memories or memorials that live on after us.

Legacy is not about celebrity.  We have all watched on the television as famous people of different sorts gather before the cameras, well dressed, smiling pretty and well scripted, to announce a gift to the latest disaster or project.  They give heartfelt, misty-eyed speeches and many times probably care about their adopted issue. That isn’t Legacy.  Don’t get me wrong, those who have been incredibly blessed by the wealth of our society – whether because of their exposure through movies and television or by the good fortune of their business pursuits – do have a moral obligation to give back.  But we are mistaken if we believe true Legacy is defined by cameras, publicity and the celebrity of it all.

Nor is Legacy about enormity.  Through the years I have heard people say something like this, “If I had Bill Gates’ money and could give away forty billion dollars, then I could really do some good.”  My friends, Legacy isn’t about giving away forty billion dollars, or forty million dollars or forty dollars.  It’s about using what has been placed in our hands to impact the lives of others for good.

How do you want to be remembered?  Consider erecting a fitting tribute to your life or the lives of your loved ones.  I am going to give you some specific ideas for memorials, but before I give you the list, let me give you one example.

War is an awful scene that far too many of you have experienced.  It, to a certain extent, defines a generation.  There have been many memorials erected in the past years to honor those who have served and defended us.  Many of those memorials are peaceful places.  Why?  I think it is because a peaceful place is the best tribute to honor the memory of those who have suffered the trauma of war.

May I suggest that you and I have the choice to influence the Legacy of our lives?  Show us the fabric, the quilt of your life. 

• Write your memoirs.  Pass along the stories that make you and your family unique.
• Or if that is too daunting, record a series of audios or videos that tell your story.
• Repair, mend a broken relationship. 
• Make that long overdue phone call.
• Your last Will and Testament can be a purposeful gesture of healing from grief and a tool for reconciliation.
• Take a trip.  See the people who mean the most to you.
• Visit the places that elicit the fondest memories.
• Mentor someone younger … help them to learn from your life’s journey.
• Erect a memorial.
• Fund a scholarship.
• Brighten someone’s day.
• Help the less fortunate.
• Find a way to invest in the future, so that your Legacy will live on.
• It is important to most of us that our name will live on … but more importantly, you and I have the opportunity to have an influence by which the lives of many will be better because we lived and chose to give.

My name is Tim Stephenson. Today I live in Fort Myers, Florida, but I was originally from Indiana.  My journey has taken me to the ends of the earth and has been shared by my wife, Glenda, our children and many friends who have impacted me deeply.  I want to be remembered.  I want to be remembered as someone who loves God and has committed my life to serving him.  I want to be remembered as someone who loved people and sought to hold others up so that they could succeed … a mentor, a teacher, an example, and a friend.  I want to be Unforgettable.

Frederick Buechner wrote, “You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, …because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.”
- Frederick Buechner, Telling the Truth

Legacy – is being carried in the hearts, the minds of those we love.  Take the time to shape a meaningful, unforgettable legacy that will endure forever.

TAX-WISE GIVING
Do You have an Ethical Will?
And What in the World is an Ethical Will?
by John W. Sheppard

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow what would you want to say to your family and friends, about yourself, about your life, about your Faith? What might you do differently given the choice? What would you want them to know about your moral and ethical principles, what “bits of wisdom” would you want to leave for them?

We live in a time when the morals, the very cornerstone of American heritage and society, the family, and the principles upon which this great country was founded seem to be rapidly disintegrating. Historians have said that America, and the western world, is a decadent society, following the same path to ruin as did the Roman Empire.

Whether this is or is not the reason, there is growing interest in a new type of document which is called an Ethical Will. And, the joy of it, you don’t necessarily need (and pay for) a lawyer to prepare it. An Ethical Will has been described as a written or recorded document or tape by which we can share with our family, our friends, and the world our values, beliefs, life lessons, our purpose in life, our hopes for the future, our loves, our failures, and our forgiveness – and essentially anything else we would like to leave as our legacy, for others to consider. If you happened to see the movie “The Ultimate Gift” with James Garner and Brian Keith last spring when it was in the theaters, you will know exactly what I mean.

So what positive and instructive things would you like to say to those you love and leave behind? Maybe things that are difficult for you to say directly to them, but that you could write or record. What a valuable legacy you could leave! It would mean so much more than the cold and legal words of your “Last Will and Testament." And, so much more lasting than the earthly treasures - the "things and stuff" you leave to them (studies show that the majority of tangible legacies are spent within 18 months of receipt). Give it some thought, give it some time, make notes and begin writing your “lasting testament” to those you love.

Over the years, I have had the privildge of helping clients write letters of explanation, forgiveness, and reconciliation to go along with their “legal” will – words of love, hope, of reconciliation to warring family members (though we never call them Ethical Wills). I shall never forget three sisters who had lived in bitterness and jealousy and had not spoken in years. Yet a reconciliation occurred in my presence, when I read to them a letter of love addressed to all of them from their mother.

The letter expressed her total love for each of them, how she had tried to help each one according to their special needs. Then she expressed that her greatest wish for each of them was that they come to love each other as they did as children. I was blessed to witness this transformation. It changed their lives forever, and certainly affected mine!

How about me? Have I written my ethical will? Well, in a manner of speaking. But I still have things I’d like to say to whom ever might want to read or listen. I suppose I’m like the Cobbler’s children with no shoes or the doctor whose children are always ill!